Dating Dilemmas: Will I ever get my confidence back?

Hi Senior Dating Agency,

I’ve been on my own for a long time, following the loss of my wife, and after years of being alone I really feel as though my confidence has gone. I joined the dating site hoping to meet mature daters like myself but so far I’ve not had the confidence to get in touch with anyone, let alone arrange a meeting. I’m stuck in a bit of a rut which I know I want to get out of, I’m just not sure how. Can you help? Anonymous

Hi Anonymous,

Firstly, let me tell you that this is one of the most popular questions we get asked so please know that you’re not alone. Suffering from low self esteem or lack of confidence is not a subject to be taken lightly and it’s one of the biggest factors that holds us back when it comes to many things in life, with dating being one of them. The trouble with confidence is that it’s not something you can just turn on and off at the flick of a switch. In reality it’s something that requires a complete change of mind and attitude, which unfortunately isn’t something that can happen over night. However, there are a few things that you can do to start working on your self-esteem and building up your confidence.

Be positive: It’s not rocket science by any means, but when we’re positive in our minds and general outlook on life, we’re generally happier people. So stop putting yourself down, stop focussing on the things you don’t like about yourself and start directing your energy on the things that make you great.

Do something new: Making simple changes to your routine can work wonders for your self-confidence; anything from starting a new hobby, joining a club or signing yourself up for a charity event. Not only will you be making a positive difference on your life, but you’ll also meet new people along the way, which is great for building upon your social skills.

Speak to a friend: Friends have the ability to see all of your great qualities; that’s why they’re friends with you. A quick catch up with an old friend is all you need to remind you why someone would be lucky to be with you.

Have a makeover: A makeover doesn’t have to be huge or expensive, it can be anything from a new haircut and colour, to buying a new outfit or updating your glasses. Making little changes will not only make you feel great about yourself but will probably attract a fair few compliments too, all going that little way to restoring your self-esteem.

Arrange a date: One of the scariest things about dating is having other people judge you. However, don’t forget that everyone is in the same boat. The more dates you go on the better you’ll become at it and therefore the more confident you’ll be. So take the plunge and send someone that first message today!

Get working on some of these points and hopefully you’ll be well on your way to restoring your confidence. I hope that helps you and wish you all the best for your online dating journey.

All the best,

The Senior Dating Agency team

Ask us, we’re here to help!

Here at The Senior Dating Agency we know that dating isn’t always plain sailing. In fact, dating is one of life’s biggest challenges; Without any concrete guidelines, how is the novice romantic supposed to decode signals and navigate those early stages? Knowing what to say, how to act, how fast to move, where to go on a first date if there will be a second date and so on.

Well at The Senior Dating Agency we want you to know that you’re not alone and that we’re here to help whenever you need it! You may have already seen our ‘Dating Dilemmas’ section on our blog where we’ve already answered the questions of some of our members. So if you’ve got a dating dilemma of your own or you simply need some dating tips and advice get in contact!

You can send your dating dilemmas to aloudon@globalpersonals.co.uk and we’ll get back to you via email. If you don’t mind we’ll also answer your question on our blog too, just in case anyone else has the same question (and don’t worry, you can choose to remain anonymous should you wish).

So if you need some help or advice, however big or small, please do get in contact with us.

We look forward to hearing from you.

TheSeniorDatingAgency.com team

Dating Dilemmas: Should I make the first move?

Hello The Senior Dating Agency.com,

I’ve recently joined your mature dating service and to be honest I haven’t got off to a great start. It might be my own fault because I haven’t sent any messages but, truth be told, I find the whole process somewhat daunting. It’s usually the gentleman who makes the first move but I’ve never done this online dating thing before so I don’t know if the same rules reply. Should I be sending the first messages and if so, how do I know what to say? All this online dating is new business to me.

Please help otherwise I fear I will never get anywhere? Tim

Hi Tim and thank you for your question, as I think it’s a problem that many people using mature dating sites for the first time encounter. You finally get to grips with dating in the ‘real world’ and then you find yourself online dating with a whole new rule book to follow. However, rest assured that online dating really isn’t that different from the more conventional ways of dating that you are used to. In some ways online dating can be a little easier as it enables you to really get to know someone before committing to meeting them in person.

So to tackle your first question – should you be sending the first message, or in other words, making the first move? This is really up to you. There are no rules when it comes to sending a first message so we wouldn’t say that it’s down to anyone to make the first move. The only advice we would give you is if you like someone go for it, they’ll never know if you’re interested if you just hide behind your computer screen. Even better, we would advise you to use our ‘Ice Breaker’ facility as soon as you’ve completed your profile. An Ice Breaker is exactly what it sounds like – a message which allows you to break the ice. We’ve got more information about our Ice Breaker facility over here in our mature dating ‘How To’ section. In answer to your second question – ‘how do you know what to say’ – why not take a look at some of our Ice Breaker examples to help you get started.

Lastly, don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back and definitely don’t wait for someone else to make the first move. Be pro-active, put yourself out there, and start making new connections today.

We hope that helps you Tim,

The Senior Dating Agency

Mature Dating

Hello and welcome to The Senior Dating Agency blog. Here we’ll be bringing you dating tips and advice, updates, and generally anything that we think will be of interest to you, our members. Also, if there’s anything you want to know more about or a particular topic that you would like us to write on, please do feel free to make a request by leaving a comment in the box below. We’ll do our very best to make sure we bring you all the information that you need.

We hope you enjoy it here and make sure you stayed tuned for more blogs coming soon!

The Senior Dating Agency